I work at a company that requires us to do testing on product to make sure it is good and wholesome for the end consumer. At times, because of when the product is ran, it can cause delays for the logistics department, which I work in. It just happened to be one of these instances that I noticed something annoying about myself, but first, a little background.
I was working with one of the ladies on our inside sales team to make sure I got her needed product so it could ship out on an order leaving the next day. I had been trying to do this for just about a week and on the last day the product was still not being released and was causing a couple of trucks to be delayed for their deliveries. Throughout this situation, at each update, I found myself walking away huffing and puffing.
About the third time I walked away I actually noticed myself huffing and puffing and I felt terrible. I felt terrible because the lady on our inside sales team probably thought I was doing that because of her, and if anyone was walking by or looking from their offices, all they were seeing was an impatient young whipper snapper who doesn’t know how to handle himself. Once I noticed myself doing this, I quickly stopped, and luckily before any damage was done.
Things are going to happen that will frustrate us and maybe even blow our minds because of the stupidity of the situation. In those moments, it is never ok to huff and puff like a five year old, that is unless you want to look like an idiot, and then by all means…huff and puff away. Instead, when these moments happen, we need to take a deep breath, maybe say a little “Hail Mary” prayer, and just keep on working through the situation.
You know what I just learned… there is no distant future with a toddler. Oh sure, there is a “this is whats going to happen in five seconds future”, a “this is what is happening after we put your shoes on future”, even a “if you do or eat this you get that future,” but again, there is no distant future with a toddler.
I made the mistake last night right before the bedtime routine of mentioning that we are going to go to Pops’ cabin, his grandparents cabin… NEXT WEEK. Ugh, just thinking about my foolishness again is baffling. After I mentioned this to my son I told him it was bath time and he ran right upstairs and went into his bathroom. This should have been the first sign that something was up because usually he starts pouting and asking for mommy, but at the time I just thought he was really pumped for some bath time fun. Usually when I wash his hair he doesn’t like it because water “gets in his eyes” and puts up a mini struggle but this time there wasn’t much of a fuss. After I get him out I tell him we are going to brush our teeth and get dressed for bed and this all goes flawlessly. I MEAN HOW OBLIVIOUS AM I AT THIS POINT.
Well my wife was walking over to the room to help out and my son sees her and waves and says “Bye bye.” She was kinda taken aback, but we thought maybe he just wants daddy tonight. I mean I really thought this kid had turned a new leaf but then he says something…”Pops’ cabin…Carseat.” and it dawns on us, he was doing all of this so happily because he thought he was going to the cabin that night. UGH, how ridiculous of me to tell him something that isn’t happening for another week.
So, after telling him that Pops’ cabin wasn’t until the following weekend, he proceeds to put on his best pouty face and start sniffling. Luckily it was the end of the day and we could distract him with some of his favorite books, but even with pulling out all the stops, we still left his room that night hearing him mumbling “Pop’s cabin…carseat.”
Oh… I felt horrible, put the real punch in the kisser was when my son basically handed me a “Your the worst trophy” the next morning. What I mean is that when I followed up with my wife about how her morning went, she said the very first thing our son said when she went into his room was “Pops’ cabin… carseat,” and once again, he followed up with his tears and pouty face when she told him that it wouldn’t be until the following weekend.
So…dads, wanna-be dads, or people ever thinking or even thinking about thinking of having kids, REMEMBER, toddlers have no concept of future focused events. Please, learn from my idiocy and don’t talk about future focused events unless you got that junk locked and loaded and are planning to go right then.
So, I hope I am the only one who has made this mistake, but if I’m not, and I have a strong feeling that I am not, please share your lessons learned below.
This morning, as I was journaling, a thought came to mind; I am always trying to think of ways to serve and add value to those around me, but not right next to me. What I mean by this is that I find myself thinking of ways to add value to strangers, coworkers, and neighbors, but I am not putting that much time into how I can best meet the needs of my wife and son. Its a thought that is hitting pretty hard and one that I believe you may find yourself dealing with.
I am also realizing that even though my goals are to serve and add value to others, I am being incredibly selfish because most of the time I’m really just trying to get recognition and praise. So instead of helping for others, I am really just doing it for me.
This post is a reminder of two things: to stop serving selfishly, and that my main focus isn’t about my neighbor or coworker, but about the needs of my family because they people that matter most, and are the ones that I have vowed to love, serve, and protect.
How have you found yourself dealing with these issues of selfishly serving and putting others, even maybe yourself, before your family?
I’m not sure about you, but I literally just went through the most stressful season of my life and I am pumped that my heart didn’t explode and that I still have a full head of hair.
Just to give a little more context, my wife and I are pregnant with our second little baby, a girl. We have just recently sold our home and bought a new one. We have started in a women and mens Bible study. I transitioned into a new, very hands on, numbers driven role to cover for someone on maternity leave. I have been asked to help train a new group at my church, and we have a two year old adventurous little boy, and probably a couple other things that are escaping my mind.
Now I know the list I gave may not seem like a lot to some, but it was quite overwhelming to us. Constant phone-calls about the new house and making big boy decisions with my wife. The stress of doing well at my new job and completing some training that they asked me to go through at work. I mean aren’t you getting heart palpitations just reading this??? But I digress, because I am writing this post on the other side of this stressful season.
At times, the stress seemed way to much to handle, but after every big decision and after every event, like my dad and I snapping some plumbing to the dishwasher and water spraying all over the new house that we didn’t even own at the time, life moved on. I realized that if the worse thing was a little bit of water in the kitchen, or missing out on $5,000 over thirty years, nothing seemed earth shattering when I compared it to all the life I have lived and will live. That brought a lot of peace. That one thought changed the way I handled some accidents. That thought, took away quite a bit of stress.
Stuff is going to happen. Some of it will be in our control, and the other stuff won’t. We just have to deal with it when it comes up and realize that life will continue to move on. We have to realize that in the span of the thirty plus years, you and I have left to live, that one accident or worry doesn’t have to amount to much.
So, what is one big stress or issue that you have recently gone through and how did you handle it on the back end?
Today is the day that my little baby boy turns into a big two year old. I swear it is like magic…One moment hes bursting into this world and the next he is laughing, running around, throwing food, saying mommy and daddy, and millions of other things.
As I think back over this past year, a single thought pops into my mind, and that thought is “Have I wasted my time with my son, or have I taken full advantage of the opportunities I have been given?” Each year I think about this and luckily I can say that I have no regrets. This year has been full of going to the pool, running around at parks, dance parties, boyz weekends, bro time, and so many adventures.
Y’all, I can’t believe he is two. TWO FOR PEET’S SAKE! He is such a big boy and I love every little thing about him, from his stinky little feet to his slick and styled hair. My wife and I are the luckiest of parents and I know that we both cant wait for this next year and many more.
So, when this day comes around next year, I know I will be struck with the same thought, and just as in the past, I hope that I will have used the time that I have been given selflessly and wisely. I hope and pray that I will continue to learn how to not always be focused on the next, but instead, to be focused on the now. I am so thankful for my son, and how my interactions with him has taught me so so much.