When creating goals, mindset matters.
When creating goals, mindset matters.
Just the other day I accomplished my goal of getting to a certain weight. Yep, it was just about two months after my original victory date, but hey… I stinkin accomplished that goal and I should have been overjoyed.
Yes, should have been is what I just said. Now don’t get me wrong, I am super pumped that I reached the goal, but when I reached it there was no confetti that dropped from the ceiling, no balloons to kick around like a happy Bill Clinton, no banner with my before and after picture swung into view, and I didn’t win any show like “America’s Biggest Fatty” ( I only watch Hulu, Netflix, and The Bachelor so forgive me for not knowing the name of the show).
It was a strange feeling because once I hit the goal, my mind went to, “Well, what’s next?” I know we all do that. Instead of being pumped with the accomplishment, we have a five second celebration and then try and work out what’s next. The Fitbit app. I use to track my stats even told me to set a new goal right away. I mean how coconuts is that?
After having time to think over all of this and what God has been showing me this new year, I am reminded that when we create goals that are focused just on us, they are so pathetic and weak. We need to think generationally as Stephen Mansfield talks about in his book, The Search for God and Guinness. When we start to do that, we start to focus on something bigger than ourselves like as it talks about in Matthew 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
What makes the fact that I accomplished my goal important is that it has built a foundation of health for me personally. It also matters because as no confetti dropped from the ceiling, I was reminded of the real purpose of becoming more healthy and sacrificing so much to get there, and that is so I will be able to do whatever, whenever, with my kids.
I am going to be in the 170’s by January 1st. That’s right, I came out and said it first thing. Pretty daringly, if I might add.
This is one of my personal goals that I have for the year, and it is completely doable, or atlas I think it is. At my current standings, all I have to do is lose a little less than 3 lbs per week and I am at the goal. Now, I am not super unhealthy and not too obese, but I know that I would be healthier, save money (always a plus in my book), and live an all out better life if I was at a healthier weight.
This isn’t just a goal about weight, because those eventually end and the pounds come sliding right back on. As fun as the rollercoaster ride of weight can be, I just want to get to a place of comfort and maintainability.
The goal for me is to give my wife and kids as many years of adventures as possible. That to me is the real driving force. I want to be healthy enough to travel the world and take them places no matter when those opportunities come. I don’t want to have to say no, or not be able to complete a task because this dad bod has really slipped into a super unhealthy bod.
I love having my one ab of steel and I don’t plan on that changing. I know I am never going to be the perfect physical specimen that my cousin Jonathan is. That boy is a ripped demi god. I mean wow, true champion and I hope I can one day be even one tenth of him.
Right now this is a slooooow moving process, but I know that by the time I am brining in the new year sleeping next to my smoking hot wife, (because thats how you bring in the new year with two young and adorably cute kids) I will be in the 170s.
This fatty fatty two by four will soon be fitting through the door.
The luxury of time is something we all have. Yep, that’s right… I said it and I will say it again. Time is a luxury we all have.
Now I know the initial thoughts some people are having are “Stippichio, I am working 18 jobs, get three hours of sleep, make almost no money, have two kids, both under the age of three…” There really is a list of a million things that steal our time, but regardless of our situation, time is a luxury we all have. The only thing is, how are you using it?
I know that when we hear others tell us we have plenty of time, it is like a nice slap in the face, but it’s true. Whether it is a financial goal, family goal, marriage related goal, cosplay goal (Thats for all you folks at Dragon Con this week in the ATL), we have plenty of time to accomplish it.
For Lindsay and I, we have dreams of great vacations, or really just getting out of the house with no kids for more than an hour. We also have financial and savings goals that we want to reach, and every time we think about these things, anxiety and pressure start to build. When these moments come our parents remind us and say, “You all are still so young and have plenty of years to reach your goals. We didn’t do what we do now at your age. You will eventually have the time and money.” Once I let those words wash over me, I start to realize that those goals are not going to be met in a day, but instead, one chunk, one bite, one milestone at a time.
I swear though, my wife Lindsay is so much better than me at grasping onto the concept that we have time. When I find myself running a million miles an hour towards a goal, she likes to pump the breaks and give the gentle reminder that we are only 29, and that we have plenty of time.
Maybe one day I won’t be like a kid in a candy shop always running towards my goals that seem so sweet and awesome. Until then, I am going to do my best to listen to my wife and those around me and slow down and pace myself, so that with the help of time, I accomplish my goals.
This morning, as I was journaling, a thought came to mind; I am always trying to think of ways to serve and add value to those around me, but not right next to me. What I mean by this is that I find myself thinking of ways to add value to strangers, coworkers, and neighbors, but I am not putting that much time into how I can best meet the needs of my wife and son. Its a thought that is hitting pretty hard and one that I believe you may find yourself dealing with.
I am also realizing that even though my goals are to serve and add value to others, I am being incredibly selfish because most of the time I’m really just trying to get recognition and praise. So instead of helping for others, I am really just doing it for me.
This post is a reminder of two things: to stop serving selfishly, and that my main focus isn’t about my neighbor or coworker, but about the needs of my family because they people that matter most, and are the ones that I have vowed to love, serve, and protect.
How have you found yourself dealing with these issues of selfishly serving and putting others, even maybe yourself, before your family?