These past 11 days have been rather unique. I recently had surgery on my hip… yes, I am 31 years old and had to get some work done on my right hip. Even though it was outpatient surgery it still shook things up quite a bit. I have been on crutches, unable to drive, limited in some of my functions and mobility, and have had to be far less active than I normally am. Through all of these changes and issues, my wife has been a freaking beast and has killed it.
“For better or worse, in sickness and in health.” Most of us whom are married have uttered these words, and over these past 11 days my wife has perfectly executed on them. I am blown away at her level of service and how she so deeply cared for me. She met my every need and then some. She was always there asking what I needed and offered up help and solutions to problems and wants I didn’t even know that I had
It’s in these inciting incidents, these moments of giant change, when we as people can really shine and make an impact, and that is what my wife did. It has encouraged me to take my game up to 11 and serve her not because of what she has done for me, but because she is more than worth it. When you are served and loved in this way, it only encourages you to do the same. So please let this blog not only honor my wife, but be an encouragement to you to honor those words, “For better or worse, in sickness and in health.” Let this blog be an encouragement to look around you and serve well those that are in your life.
Who is in your life that you need to serve well, and how can you live it out today?
Valentines Day… it’s just another corporate holiday that marketers have taken over so that men and woman can be forced into passionless nights of pressure filled “romance” and spend way to much money on crap you don’t need. Can I get an amen.
Oh, and by the way, I don’t believe anything I just wrote. If you don’t celebrate valentines day with your significant other, that is totally up to you, but as for me, I see this day as a brilliant reminder to love and pursue that special someone. I know what your thinking, “Paul, I pursue him / her every day,” And to that I call bull shit. Lets not kid ourselves, thats just not true. For most of the folks who would agree with the above paragraph, I am willing to bet that your significant other only feels pursued three to four days out of the year: Your anniversary, their birthday, Christmas, and maybe one other day thrown in there for good measure.
Valentines day is a gift, and it doesn’t have to cost you much, or any, money depending on what you actually do. This is a day that is forced into our society for sure, but it is one that I take as a blessing because it gives me an amazing excuse to direct my attention not only to my wife, but my kids as well.
I want my kids to know how to pursue their love. I want my son to know how to woo a woman and I want my daughter to know what it is like to be wooed. I want to build up in her this understanding that if a man doesn’t woo her, he is not worth her time. She is a beauty to be taken on an adventure, not just to be looked at and potentially admired. By the time my kids are really ready to date, I want to have given them an amazing example for them to follow.
So to all those haters out there… take a second look at this potentially under-marketed holiday full of sugar, delicious meals, and lots of trees sacrificing their lives so you can express your love via a card. Take a second look and realize the opportunity you have been given.
Happy Valentines Day
P.S. Let me know what exciting plans you have for your love.
I think it is quite interesting to hear companies say that they love their customers, or their employees, yet when you look at their actions and the words they use, it actually seems quite the opposite. Now I am no expert on the subject of love, but I have come to the understanding of a couple of ways to actually gauge how much you really do love your customers.
- Review your interactions. If in your interactions with your customers you find yourself getting irritated, impatient, looking for how you can get the best outcome for you, or anything else that puts you getting the most… you may not really love your customers as much as you thought. This is a tough habit to break as we are all conditioned to look out for #1, namely ourself. As we review our interactions with our customers, make sure the actions, responses, and the words we use are putting the customer first.
- Love never gives to get… it’s just not how love does. Thats actually pretty much it, can’t add anything to it.
Cleary you can take these two checks and balance ideas and apply them to any relationship. In fact, I would encourage you to do so. It is something I have done and it has brought to light how selfish I am and how that selfishness has actually hurt me when it has come to opportunities.
Who do you say that you love, and when you look at your interactions, do your actions prove your words?
Don’t you fear, this is not a mushy post… or at least I don’t think it is.
There is a book by Gary Chapman called “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” and I haven’t read it… BUT in it he talks about five ways that we best receive love. We all receive love differently and we are pre-disposed to showing it in those ways.
Over the years I have come to realize that I receive love best through words of affirmation. I am a huge words person and it literally means the world to me when I get notes or letters of affirmation. In fact, the best gift my wife has and ever will get me came last year for my thirtieth birthday when she gave me a book full of letters from friends and family. With every letter tears were shed and memories were talked about. It was the freakin absolute best gift ever.
The purpose of this post is because my sister just recently gave me a card that was full of the sweetest message. It didn’t just say that she loved me but she told me about how a piece of content I created, had impacted her and clarified a way of thinking. She really is the best sis one could ask for and I have loved seeing how our relationship has grown as we have been adults.
I want to encourage those reading this to at least look at and get a general understanding of the love languages because it will impact how you interact with those around you. Knowing how the ones you love or work with best receive love / affirmation will change your relationship. When we do this, it changes the culture of our home and office for the better as it becomes a place where teamwork and help thrives.
A few months back I read Love Does by Bob Goff, and I have never wrestled with a book so much in all my life. It has been months since I have finished it, but it has so permanently shifted my thinking that everything I do seems to pass through a new filter that the book created. The filter that was created is one where I am truly seeing others as worthwhile folks, as a a son or daughter of someone, and that they have value regardless of position, title, or circumstance.
I recently experienced this filter kicking in when I went to the post office. It was early morning and as I parked outside, I noticed there was a man sleeping in the lobby trying to stay warm from the frigid outdoors. When I went inside to drop off my mail, he woke up and started mumbling something and I just walked out, got in my car and left. As I was leaving, I was reminded of the truth that this man is important, regardless of his looks or circumstance. I pulled back into the parking lot, went back inside and started a small conversation. What I did wasn’t anything exceptional. I didn’t give him money or offer to buy a meal, but I asked him his name, wished him luck and I went on my way to work.
This interaction didn’t change his life and he probably forgot about me as soon as I stepped outside the doors. This interaction wasn’t for him though, it was for me. It was so that I could take one small step in this new direction and have this new way of thinking would further take root.
Over this next week, what if we all looked at those around us as someones son or daughter and realized that they have value regardless of position, title, or circumstance? How different would our lives and the world around us look if we used this filter and actually started loving those around us?